A Recipe for Disaster

Based on another prompt from the amazing book that all aspiring writers should have, 642 Things to Write About:

Write a recipe for disaster.

RECIPE FOR DISASTER
Preparation time: 3-month marriage

Ingredients:
1 cup of self-doubt
1 tablespoon of misguided words interpreted badly by the girl in front of you with the purple bow who owns your heart
2 teaspoons of regret
A handful of drunken apologies and passive-aggressive phone calls
A half-dozen bad decisions
1 couch meant to be slept on alone

Directions:
Stir self-doubt words into a bowl until made into one bland-colored mixture.
Crack open two bad decisions and wish you hadn’t. Whisk into bowl.
Add 2 teaspoons of regret and a pinch of a drunken apology. Stir.
Pour mixture into baking pan. Let it sit and stew, contents separating, fermenting, filling your kitchen with the stench of everything gone desperately wrong.
(Tip: Keep handy 1 cold smile to answer questions from neighbors and your mother about your relationship!)
Place pan in oven preheated at 350 degrees. Burn to a crisp. Toss it in the trash. Sleep on the couch.
Repeat all steps as needed.

Note: Including love in this recipe is optional, but not generally recommended.

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